☮ & ♥

2010-02-12T21:49:00.001-08:00

I was reading through some of my old blogs and I realized a goal I had set for myself was to make the dean's list.

It feels so good when you reach your goals :]

2010-02-12T21:41:00.000-08:00

"I feel ripped off by Disney movies. I grew up believing that my very own Prince Charming would find me, and it would be lovely, and I would be happy forever and there would never be a spider in the bath, or a blown light bulb when I’m home alone, or a rainy day when I missed the bus. My Prince Charming would never let me feel sad. I honestly believed that, because seeing is believing, and that was all I’d seen.

But I was little then, and now I am fourteen years old, and I wonder if Prince Charmings even exist. I know I’m too young to feel like this, but I’m glad of it. I’m glad I’ve realized now that even if I did find that perfect boy for me, sometimes spiders might still crawl up through the drain and I might only see them once I’d gotten all my bubble bath and candles ready. And I know that bus drivers are dickheads and won’t stop driving for someone who’s running to the stop, even if I do find the love of my life. I am glad that I know, now, that it’s okay if I never have a man like Prince Eric or Aladdin. Because Eric fucked a fish lady and Aladdin wears stupid pants anyway, and they couldn’t solve all my problems with a pretty song and dance.

So I feel ripped off by Disney movies, because they lied to me when I was just a gullible little kid, and made me wish I could go to a ball and find the love of my life. I feel ripped off, because they made me hope for something impossible. I feel ripped off, because what I’ve learned in my short life is not to believe what you see in movies. And now, if my very own Prince Charming came along, I wouldn’t even see him."

Quoted from Lilly @ www.leloveimages.blogspot.com

Valentine's Day

2010-02-12T21:36:00.000-08:00

"Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope."

Valentine's Day is the most pointless holiday next to Sweetest Day. I'm not bitter because I don't have a Valentine or a Sweetie; I just hate how it's corrupted the minds of everyone in the world. Guys rushing around at the last minute because they THINK they have to buy girls flowers and chocolates. Girls panicking because they don't want to do the same thing they did last time. It's so superficial to me. Why can't you just spend some quality time together. Why do you have to spend money on an expensive diamond necklace? Why do you have to buy a dozen roses just to win her admiration? Why do you feel the need to dress up to impress him if he's already yours? I don't get the point of the holiday. According to some, It's a time to let your partner know you love him or her...

If you're in a functioning relationship, shouldn't you already know this? Shouldn't you be telling each other at least once a day how much they mean to you or that you love them. Do you really need a holiday to tell someone you care about them? It grinds my gears that a guy or girl can celebrate one day of something that should be occurring daily if the relationship is functional.

If I had a valentine, I wouldn't want him to buy me fancy things. I would just want to spend the day playing music, playing video games, maybe walking around a museum or a park, ordering chinese and staying in to watch a movie. I don't need all the fancy corporate Hallmark cards...I'd much rather him tell me then a tangible card.

My valentine's day will be spent with the things I know will love me regardless of what day it is...I will spend my day with music, education, family and friends.

2009-12-01T07:18:00.000-08:00

It's the most wonderful time of the year...part one

2009-11-27T18:33:00.001-08:00

Happy belated thanksgiving everyone!
Happy Black Friday everyone!

My thanksgiving was great. My sister's best friend Theresa marched in the Macy's Day Parade. I spent my morning helping my parents cook and watching the parade, as I do every year. The house smelled amazing. There's something about the scent of a turkey cooking and pumpkin spice that calms me down and puts a smile on my face. If bath and body works could bottle those scents up and place them in a body spray, I would probably be a devout customer for life...not that I'm not already or anything ;]

So most of you know, after hearing about my mom's co-worker's mother-in-law passing away from swine flu, I got my vaccine. I'm talking about it with my family as we're setting the table (great topic right?) and then the next thing I know my grandparents give me and my sister these straws.

Back when we were little, we had got these and they stayed at my grandparent's house. Probably for good reason too. My sister and I, after making swine flu jokes and taking tons of pictures, decided to make pig noises by blowing air into our drinks through the straw. My dad got annoyed and threatened to turn us into bacon. This only made everyone at the table laugh harder. I love my family more than anything. We have a strong sense of humor..thank goodness haha.

Janet and I went over to my aunt's house last night to spend the night. We ended up staying up till midnight then waking back up at 3AM to be at Target by 4AM. With a quick stop at Sheetz for a pumpkin spice cappuccino, we were on our way.

Black Friday definitely brings out the crazy side of people. It was close to 4 when we got to target and the line was huge. Of course as if waiting in the cold wasn't bad enough, it had to start pouring down rain. The security was going around reminding people not to run and if you were caught running, you would be thrown out. I'm really glad that people have to be reminded of these rules. I have such hope for people. Once we got in, people started running. Black Friday must cause a short circuit in the memory department. Janet and I thought it would be hilarious if we just stood in the middle of the electronic isle and created chaos for people. Sure enough hilarity ensued and we had to go find somewhere else to stand because people watching was getting ridiculous.

Wal-mart was way too crowded..not even standing room.

Kohl's was decent. Didn't get anything from there though. There was a lady at the door and she was like "Are you going to use your Kohl's charge card?" I told her no and she's like "Well would you like to sign up..blah blah blah" I politely told her no thank you, thinking okay, she's probably had a rough morning..I'll be nice. So the lady continues to ask me. I've had enough and I turned around and I was like "um, i'm 16..." She quickly apologized and went on to asking the next customer.

I'd like to point out that I am 19 years old. I was wearing my BHS letterman and I ventured out without any make-up on so I got away with it...having a baby-face doesn't hurt either.

Last stop was Game Stop. While my aunt wandered around finding the video games for my cousin, Janet and I decided to play super mario on the wii. Then we moved on to playing "Up" on the PS3. Finally we moved ourselves over to playing the beatles rock band. We managed to spend an hour playing yellow submarine, here comes the sun and can't buy me love over and over and over again. While we were rocking out and getting our beatles on...this happened.

It is just snow Ohio...you deal with it from October to May. It's nothing different. It's not rocket science. LEARN TO DRIVE. YOU ARE NOT A SOUTHERN/WESTERN STATE. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE TO DRIVE LIKE AN IDIOT. My public service announcement for the upcoming winter season.

peace.
-Ashley

P.S.

What are some of your favorite holiday songs? Lately I've been listening to baby it's cold outside and taylor swift's last christmas

It doesn't get better than this does it?

2009-11-24T06:29:00.001-08:00

Before you can grow up, you must fall in love 3 times. Once, you must fall in love with your best friend, ruining your friendship forever. This will teach you who your true friends are, and the fine line between friendship and more. Once you must fall in love with someone you believe is perfect. You will learn that no one is perfect, and that you should never be treated as anything less than you deserve. And once, you must fall in love with someone that is exactly like you. This will teach you about who you are, and who you want to be. And when you’re through will all that, you learn that the people who care about you the most are the ones that you hurt, and the ones that hurt you are the ones that needed you the most. But most of all, you learn that love is only a concept and is not something that can be defined, it is different to each and every person on this earth, knowing that everyone only wants to be loved.

I hate that girl

2009-11-23T18:10:00.000-08:00

I hate the girl that is so in love
I hate the girl that is so in love she blushes the minute he walks into the room
I hate the girl that is so in love she Can’t think of anything but him
I hate the girl that is so in love she becomes speechless
I hate the girl that is so in love that the only movie she can see is The Notebook
I hate the girl that is so in love she feels sick When he is not with her
I hate the girl that is so in love she imagines their entire future together
I hate the girl that is so in love she becomes naive
The reason I hate this girl is because she is me. You might be wondering what the reason for all the hate is. The reason is simple, the girl’s love, my love was and will never be answered

Music Recommendations

2009-10-10T21:02:00.001-07:00

I'm looking for some good acoustic music that you can listen to on rainy days and make you feel happy.

and if anyone knows where I can find cassette tapes for sale let me know.
my car doesn't play CD's and i'm so sick of hearing the same songs over and over on the radio.

OR

if you are feeling creative and you want to make me a mixtape on a cassette so I have songs to listen to on the drives to and from school...that would be rad too..

-ash

These City Lights Shine Down And Blind Me Sometimes.

2009-09-20T12:04:00.000-07:00

When I see this picture...

I imagine me. I'm working in the music industry just like I always wanted to do. I'm getting involved in everything from production to managing. I'm happy with everything.
I imagine you. Tonight you're playing a club in some big city. A record label is there to offer you a contract. Walking back to our hotel room after the show, we stop and look at how far we've both come.

A picture is worth a thousand words right?

Last FM

2009-09-16T07:55:00.001-07:00

"San Dimas High School Football Rules" x The Ataris

2009-09-15T06:03:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a dream that we went to Disneyland,
Went on all the rides, didn't have to wait in line.
I drove you to your house where we stared up at the stars
I listened to your heartbeat as I held you in my arms.

We hung out at the rainbow where we drank til' half past two.
Nothing could go wrong anytime that I'm with you.
Like crashing a hotel room or leading up to that first kiss
Or searching for a high school that you know doesn't exist...

These are the things that make me free
I feel like I'm stuck in "stand by me"
This night was too good to be true.

Today I woke up alone wishing you were here with me,
I wanted us to be something that we'd probably never be.
Today you called me up and said you'd see me at our show,
But now I'm stuck debating if I even wanna go.

Whitney, don't you understand that what I say is true?
I just want you to know I have a major crush on you.
I'd drive you to Las Vegas and do the things you wanna do
I'd even have Wayne Newton dedicate a song to you.

I only wish that this could be
Just dump your boyfriend and go out with me
I swear I'd treat you like a queen.

I totally fall in love with songs like this.
Someone bring me this kind of guy. :/
pretty sure he doesn't exist though

2009-08-31T17:24:00.000-07:00

I made my hair darker again. I felt like I needed a change. So much has changed lately. My best friend is gone but I get to see her on Friday and I'm so excited to see her. It's been hard on the both of us, starting in new places and making new friends. However, I just want to say how much I love my learning community. I have some of the raddest people in my group. Everyone is really awesome and not to mention all the eye candy I have in class ;] I can't believe how worried I was about starting school. I love my classes. I love my new friends.

Miles Apart

2009-08-25T21:51:00.000-07:00

Now we've all grown up
Gone on and moved away
Nothing I can do about it
Nothing I can say
To bring us back to where we were
When life was not this hard
Looking back it all just seems so far
We will be miles apart
I'll keep you deep inside
You're always in my heart
A new life to start
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart
I'd give it up for just one more day with you
Give it up give it all away

:[

2009-08-25T17:44:00.000-07:00

This isn't going to be easy but I know we can make it through.
One day the world will belong to us and everyone will play by our rules.
My sister

This is it.

2009-08-23T08:48:00.000-07:00

Not ready

Girl At The Rock Show

2009-08-15T21:04:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was the big concert day. It was an eventful day to say the least. Lets recap.

I somehow woke up at 5:30 and thought it was 3:30 and I was quite confused as to why my parents were up so early. I ended up playing sims and falling back asleep. I woke up at 9 and called Janet. I went to pick her up as planned and thats when the bullshit started. Mom calls me and freaks out because the place I ordered my books from took 300 dollars out of her bank account and she was pretty much ticked. Dad was the one who faxed in my order seeing as I have no access to a fax machine. Mistake number one, thinking my dad could handle a simple task of just ordering them and paying later. Nope. So she yells at me over the phone and tells me I have to come up with the money. Then she flips out because she goes to Janet's and sees that we're not there. I told her we were at the store and she continues to yell. I was pretty livid by now and I was sure that my day was now ruined. I was in a shitty mood and I still had to go home and change my clothes and do some quick chores.

Janet was a doll and had her mom take us to starbucks after she picked us up from my personal hell. As I was leaving the house my mom was all "Oh have a good time and have fun" Oh yes, be nice after you pretty much tell me how bad of a daughter I am. Ugh. So I felt a little bit better after a delicious blueberry scone and a banana chocolate vivanno smoothie.

Now thats done with here's what everyone is waiting for...dun dun dun..

THE CONCERT

So we get to the pavilion. It reminds me so much of blossom, I immediately cringe knowing how much I despise blossom music center. So we start our walk and half way up we see probably close to 50-75 girls walking back and we're like what the hell? So then we find out "NO PURSES ALLOWED" So we get that all situated and then we hear the no camera rule. I'll save the drama. Let's just say it wasn't pretty and I was already having a feeling I should've just stayed home.

So we stand in line for merch during the opening act. Chester French did not sound all that great. I have no clue what he even looks like. I was not impressed at all. Janet kept thinking his name was Chester Finch and I kept making refrences to "To Kill a Mockingbird". So we get our "I ! PATD" shirts and mosey on back to our seats.

I would not be upset at all if Ian Crawford and Dallon Weekes became full time members of the band. The harmonies were amazing. I missed Ryan being off pitch though. I was pretty happy with the song choices. It was sad looking around though and seeing like a total of 15 people singing along. I was impressed. I wasn't exactly sure how I was going to feel without seeing 4 familiar faces up there. I have complete faith in whats left of Panic! now...oh and welcome back !...you were missed.

Oh Fall Out Boy...Patrick Stump is probably the most precious thing I've ever seen. I remember seeing them 4 years ago on the Black Clouds tour and I was so disappointed. Pete talked way too much and Patrick must've had an off day or something that day because he wasn't that great. 4 years later, Pete shut up and Patrick sang his little heart out. I squealed a little when they covered Journey. That was my senior class song and since this was the last time I was going to be able to hang out with my best friend before college...It just seemed to make everything full circle. I can't describe the feeling I had singing along and jumping with my best friend to our favorite band(s) covering the theme song to one of the most life changing years in our life.

Blink 182 did not disappoint either. Janet was never really into Blink like I was so she just kinda stood there as I managed to scream every word to feeling this, rock show and whats my age again. I felt like I was a 13 year old kid again. I love the fact I can hear those songs and be able to feel the emotions I had when I first listened to them. We left after whats my age again because we had a long drive back to Barberton and the freaks behind us were really irritating.

There's so much more I want to say but I'm super tired and this is probably going to be edited like no other.

2009-08-13T13:54:00.001-07:00

Today is my parent's 21st wedding anniversary. They've been together since high school so its actually been longer than that but its been 21 years of marriage. I'm so envious of this. I can only dream of the day I can find a man to spend 21+ years of my life with. They've really done well in a world where divorce is so common. On one hand I can count the friends who's parents are still parried. With a divorce currently going on in my family, I'm left to wonder...is marriage and love really worth it? Then I look at my parents (and my grandparents too...) and I say, Yes...Yes it is.

I stopped by cosmoprof today and looked at some hair color. I'm wanting a real natural shade of dark red. Blue-Reds are not genetically possible and that's all that I could find was blue-reds. (and yes blue red is possible). Hollister called me and asked me to come it at 4 for an interview tomorrow but I'll be at the PATD, FOB, Blink show with my bestie so Tuesday is my big day. I'm so nervous. I really want/need this job.

An explanation...

2009-08-12T20:58:00.000-07:00

Back in 2004, I had this really strange dream. It had felt so real. I was so disappointed when I woke up and realized that it was a dream. What was it you ask? Well let me start at the beginning...

I was hanging out at my old friend's house on her back porch. I was sitting next to this guy with this white blonde hair, big beautiful blue eyes and he was a few years older than me. He was a musician and he played guitar. No idea how I had met him but he was my dream boyfriend. (I know this sounds so lame but bear with me) So in my dream, we went on dates and lived a happily little life together. It was the best dream by far and I have never forgotten it. Its still fresh in my mind, five years later...

Anyways it came to me a couple of days ago when I was talking to Janet, I know who this guy is. I've met him only once. She says I'm just imagining it, but he fits the exact description to a T. Its sad though that he'll probably never even know I exist and if I ever got the chance to tell him, he'd probably laugh at me and call me crazy. Which, after reading this blog over again, it truly does sound crazy but I just have this feeling. I'm arguing with myself over it. Part of me knows he is the exact guy but this other part is like it was a dream, let it go.

Life would be easier if we didn't have dreams. I wouldn't be in this kind of predicament...

PS. the picture is the the picture I drew of him as soon as I woke up. The writing on it says white hair, blue eyes, musician and the date was 4-12-2004.

2009-08-11T15:24:00.000-07:00

new dark hair
yes/no?

Let Go

2009-08-07T11:06:00.000-07:00

The fall is almost here and it leads me to start my new life. True, i'm not moving out because my broke butt can't afford to live on campus and with the cost of tution rising 4% for the spring semester, I just can't afford it. But in a sense it's okay, I have enough on my plate right now anyways. I'm going to college. I won't be walking through the doors of Barberton High School anymore. I won't seeing all my friends on that chilly August morning, talking about what we did over the summer and who we hung out with and what boys made us cry. I'll be walking into a classroom of strangers. People who come from all different backgrounds and come from all over the US or maybe even the world. I'll be surrounded by people who all want to do the same job but different. If that even makes sense. Suzie over in the right hand side of the room might want to be a CEO of a prestigious company, while I on the other hand dream of working in the music industry. Maybe marketing for a record label, a press agent for a successful artist and if I don't strike gold while in college or shortly after, I have a cosmetology license that will serve me well for the time being. All in all, there is no way for me to fail my future. If the music doesn't work out, I can always move out west and do hair and make-up for red carpet events. I could own my own salon. My possibilities are endless. Now if I could just open up my heart and give it away to someone.

There once was this boy that slyly walked into my life. It had been almost three months since Brandon had passed away at this point. I had stopped crying and I had started putting pieces back together. However, you could tell I was sad and I believe he knew I was hurting before I even told him. We had an awesome friendship. Someone who loves classic rock more than I have and ever will haha. He was amazing and with all friendships, that first falling out hurts. We didn't talk for almost six months or so. But today we're pretty much best friends. He's my best dude friend and I wouldn't trade him for anything (unless he makes a strawberry joke then I hate him). One night we were hanging out at a park and we were talking about some personal stuff and he looks at me says.."You know there's a lot in common between me and Brandon..." I shut up and just stared at the ground. He was right. They kinda looked alike, Brandon was more into the "scene" stuff though, they both played guitar, they both had bands, and there were more little heres and theres. It got me thinking "Am I ever going to be able to find a guy and not compare him to Brandon?" Ever since that night I have been pondering this and I've finally come to the conclusion that I guard my heart. My heart's only known Brandon. I mean sure there were a couple of other guys I was crazy for (one dated my best friend and caused a bunch of problems between me and her and the other well he's just an idiot but we're friends I suppose) but honestly, Brandon made me realize what love is.

With college starting, I'm sure there's going to plenty of new people to meet and I need to go into school with two goals on my mind.

Goal One: Make the dean's list
Goal Two: Be open minded when meeting new people.

I'm honestly afraid of letting people into my life sometimes. I've let so many people in and they just right on out and it really made me build a wall. I am going to break down this wall and live my life the way it should be lived. I will treat everyone I meet as a friend and I will work through these trust issues. I will be kind and fearless, unless there is a spider or dead body in the room, then I will be scared. But I will start fresh, start over, start clean. I have the chance to end a chapter of my life with something huge and something powerful. It's been written in pen and I can't change my past. I can only keep writing and write myself a wonderful happy beginning. (because I don't like endings...)

Sugarcane in the easy morning

2009-08-06T19:28:00.000-07:00

On a recent trip to borders I bought myself the bible for every college student. I took Mr. Townsend's advice and bought it. I'm getting nervous for school to start now. I have yet to finish my summer reading. I just got my parking pass in the mail today and I have no rear view mirror to hang it from since it decided to fall off from the heat. I have so much to do and so little time.

Ugh

uh.....

2009-08-01T21:39:00.000-07:00

i'm still getting music on my laptop. give me some credit okay.

and I apologize for how much I've listened to Change by the young veins recently...

2009-08-01T20:52:00.000-07:00

I hate this point in the summer. It's hard knowing everything is going to change here in a few weeks. Soon my best friend will be leaving for college. Helping her pack was probably the hardest thing I had to do. I know its not saying good bye or anything but just knowing she'll be like 30 minutes away instead of 5. It'll take some getting used to. Speaking of college I still have to order my books. I'm procrastinating hoping that it will just stay summer forever. Eventually i'm going to have to face the music...eventually...

Just finished an amazing week of VBS at Janet's church. I seriously love everyone there. The kids this year were just so amazing and so cute. With the exception of the temper tantrums and Janet getting bit and kicked and screamed at, Kayla's fat lip and various other injuries, it was fun and it really made me think. Everything happens for a reason and only God knows that reason. Sometimes my faith is scattered and there's times I feel like there isn't anyone there but I just need to remind myself, even though I may not be the best "christian" in the world, I am still loved. It's also nice to know that I have a guardian angel looking out for me and its the little things that remind me that Brandon is and will always be there looking out for me. I almost forgot what it was like to really believe again.

I really didn't mean for this to be as religious as it seems. Anyways moving on..

I still have a lot of plans for this summer. List is seen below.

*Panic at the disco, Fall Out Boy and Blink 182 show with Janet
*Habachi Japan with Angel, Amanda, Janet and others TBA
*Order my books
*room renovation (is starting on this one tonight)

Also, if anyone has any tips on how to make your bedroom feel more like a dorm, please let me know. I'm staying at home to save myself money for school and I want my room to have a dorm like feel...I probably just confused everyone..

plus i'm pretty much broke so don't tell me to go spend money on this this and this...just give me cheap tips please and thank you

Check this out

2009-07-30T12:09:00.001-07:00

I got this rad Evan Taubenfeld folder in the mail for completing a BLC mission. It's autographed on the inside. This just made my day :D

my life according to patd?

2009-07-24T10:26:00.000-07:00

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "My life according to (Band Name)"

Pick your Artist:
Panic at the disco

Are you a male or female:
She's a handsome woman

Describe yourself:
Mad as rabbits

Describe where you currently live:
Behind the sea

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Intermission

Your favorite form of transportation:
Time to dance

Your best friend is:
Build God then we'll talk

You and your best friends are:
We're so starving

What's the weather like:
Northern Downpour

Favorite time of day:
Nine in the afternoon

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
She had the world

What is life to you:
New perspective

Your relationship:
Folkin Around

Your fear:
Nails for breakfast, tacks for snacks

What is the best advice you have to give:
But its better if you do

Thought for the Day:
When the day met night

How I would like to die:
From a mountain in the middle of the cabins

My soul's present condition:
Introduction

My motto:
There's a good reason these tables are numbered honey, you just haven't thought of it yet

2009-07-23T20:09:00.000-07:00

I make stupid faces.

If the right guy sang this to me I would be in love

2009-07-22T19:30:00.000-07:00

It's the way that you blush when you're nervous.
It's your ability to make me earn this.
I know that you're tired, just let me sing you to sleep.
It's about how you laugh out of pity,
'Cause lets be honest I'm not really that funny.
I know that you're shot, just let me sing you to sleep.

If you need anything, just the say the word.
I mean anything.
Rest assured, if you start to doze, then I'll tuck you in,
and plant my lips where your necklaces close.

It's those pills that you don't need to take,
medicating perfection, now that's a mistake.
I know that you're spent, just let me sing you to sleep.
It's your finger and how I'm wrapped around it.
It's your grace and how it keeps me grounded.
I know that you're weak, just let me sing you to sleep.

If you need anything, just the say the word.
I mean anything.
Rest assured, if you start to doze, then I'll tuck you in,
and plant my lips where your necklaces close.

While you were sleeping I figured out everything,
I was constructed for you, and you were molded for me.
Now I feel your name, coursing through my veins.
You shine so bright it's insane, you put the sun to shame.

(Oh)

If you need anything, just the say the word.
I mean anything. (I really do)
Rest assured, if you start to doze, then I'll tuck you in,
and plant my lips where your necklaces close.

If you need anything, just the say the word.
I mean anything.
Rest assured, if you start to doze, then I'll tuck you in,
and plant my lips where your necklaces close.

Lullaby by The Spill Canvas

Greetings blog world.

2009-07-12T19:55:00.001-07:00

Wow, its been forever since I posted here. I meant to post this when I got back from vacation but I was still on vacation in my mind and I was pretty lazy so let me catch you up to speed.

I just got back from Florida about 2 weeks ago and let me tell you that was probably one of the best weeks of my life. It was a long 18 hour car ride down there but I loved every minute of it. Even though verizon pretty much sucks because your people do not follow you through West Virginia and Virginia and the Wendy's in Princeton, W. Virginia pretty much sucks, it was still a great trip. The beach was beautiful. I loved watching the sun set and feeling the waves rush past me (and often times drag me up on shore haha) We stayed in Treasure Island which has the most beautiful Mediterranean homes which if anyone knows, I am OBSESSED with those types of houses. My dream house right there. Disney was a blast. Janet and I got our picture taken with Aladdin and Jasmine and Aladdin was all like "One day I will rule" and Jasmine was like lol n and said "Uh-huh, we'll see". Janet got on her first ride that resembled a rollar coaster. I am taking her to Cedar Point in October for Halloweekends. I am so stoked. Anyways back to Disney, My favorite thing of the day was hands down the Monsters Inc Scare floor...I love monsters inc so much. "HIS NOSE IS SO CUTE HE UNDERLINED IT" I will never forget that line...oh and janet's mom threatening to smack me if I texted a Michael Jackson joke to the joke thing. The joke I did send in was pretty rad if you asked me.

Q: Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie?
A: It was rated ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Now go use that on someone and be ready for the lolz...okay maybe not

I've been actively job hunting since I've been back. College is really starting to take affect now. I just saw the price list for all my books. Two hundred and twenty dollars. I would like to give a big collective thank you to everyone who donated to my graduation box at my grad party. You will be paying for my books.

Speaking of books, I started my summer reading. I have to read Run by Ann Patchett. I'm having a really hard time liking this book. I just can't bring myself to get through it. I need someone to kick my butt into gear and I need to tell myself to suck it up and get through it.

Janet just called and told me our tickets for August 14th were ordered. What is August 14th you ask? Janet and I are going to see what is left of panic at the disco, fall out boy and oh yeah that one really awesome band I grew up with...Blink 182. This is truly our last hurrah before my best friend leaves me to become a pioneer. I think that's what Malone is.

50 secrets that you don't care to know but will anyways

2009-07-01T10:02:00.000-07:00

(1) Who was your last text from?
Amy

(2) Where was your default pic taken?
FB&Myspace: outside in my backyard
here: my room

(3) Your relationship status?
single boo

(4) Have you ever lost a close friend?
Yeah. Turns out that she is just like him. I don't need either of them

(5) What is your current mood?
pretty content actually

(6) Brother & sisters names?
Megan

(7) Do you have a job?
I wish these stupid salons would call me back.

(8) Where do you wish you were right now?
California on a beach

(9) Have a crazy side?
all the time :]
but its the good kind of crazy

(10) Ever had a near death experience?
ha a lot actually :S

(11) Something you do a lot?
smile and breathe

(12) Angry at anyone?
currently i'm annoyed with my sister but thats the norm.

(13) What's stopping you from going for the person you like?
All the guys in my life see me as a sister/friend/are gay.
I need to find a guy who doesn't mind that I love my video games and comic books and my love for the music industry

(14 )When was the last time you cried?
Sunday

(15) Is there anyone you would do anything for?
Yes

(16) What do you think about when you are falling asleep?
depends on thy mood

(17) Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Mom but I called and left Janet a voicemail

(18) What's your favorite song?
I have too many :S

(19) What are you doing right now?
this and your mom ;]

(20) Who do you trust right now?
a few people. not many though

(21) Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
charlotte russe

(22) Have you kissed someone in the past week?
no

(23) Who is your friend that lives closest to you?
David and Jess live the closest I think.

(24) Describe your life in one word.
roller-coaster

(25) Who are you thinking of right now?
no one. i'm actually thinking of what else I need to pack

(26) What should you be doing right now?
cleaning

(27) What are you listening to?
All time low lmao

(28) Who was the last person who gave you a hug?
Dad?

(29) Who was the last person who yelled at you?
Megan because she thinks she's all that + a bag of chips

(30) Do you act differently around the person you like?
nope

(31) What is your natural hair color?
orange. ginger for life!

(32) Who was the last person to make you laugh really hard?
Hm. idk

(33) Who was the last person to make you sad?
ha we aren't going there

(34) What do you hear?
...already answered this

(35) Is your hair curly or straight?
wavy

(36) Has anyone ever called you "scrumptious" before?
lol no?

(37) Do you have a best friend?
Janet, Ashley, David, Kelsey, Jess

(38) Held hands with the opposite sex in the past 3 days?
nope

(39) Do you use smiley faces on the computer?
duh :]

(40) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
I was in marching band. Of course I did.

(41) Are you happy with life right now?
nervous but happy

(42) Are you currently jealous?
no

(43) What jewelry are you currently wearing?
none

(44) What are you doing Friday night?
FLORIDA

(45) Have you ever had your heart broken?
yes. Brandon :[

(46) Have you ever broken someone's heart?
not that I know of

(47) Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?
I'm always disappointed with these two.

(48) What was the last reason you went to the doctor?
popped a rib out of place as usual

(49) How late did you stay up last night and why?
12:30 playing sims lol

(50) Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
yes :[

omg 2009 enough already

2009-06-25T15:45:00.000-07:00

The legendary Ed McMahon, The Beautiful Farrah Fawcett and The king of pop Michael Jackson.

My idols.
D:

If you've ever been in marching band...or know anyone in marching band

2009-06-15T19:46:00.000-07:00

you know that these are true

1. You hear music on the radio and you start marking time.

2. You're walking behind someone and you're in step with them.

3. You try to guess the tempo of your favorite song.

4. All your friends are in band.

5. You don't mind changing clothes on the bus (see below).

6. You know how to change on the bus without revealing anything.

7. People ask you about your social life and you say "Oh you mean my flute?"

8. You've had a "trombone-ectomy" (shudder).

9. You practice your instrument more than you talk to your dog.

10. Being mauled by a drum is a normal part of life.

11. "Armed guard" means a girl with a pole, not a guy with a gun.

12. You remember sharps and flats more easily than you remember the name of the president.

13. You've named your instrument.

14. You see your section more than you see your family.

15. Everyone wants to kill the other football team...and you want to kill the other band.

16. You have dreams about selling band candy.

17. You accidentally call your band director "Dad".

18. Reeds taste good.

19. You subconsciously start practicing with a pencil.

20. You roll step through the cafeteria so you don't spill your food.

21. You're alone and you suffocate because no one's telling you to breathe.

22. The band room is your second home. It is your home if you've got it bad.

23. You think a national monument should be built honoring John Philip Sousa. Hell, they should just chip off one of those president heads and put it there.

24. You've actually been to band camp and consider it the highlight of your summer.

25. You recite the alphabet A through G then start back at A again.

26. Someone could empty their spit valve on your shoe and you wouldn't care.

27. Spit rags/swabbers don't gross you out (see above).

28. You carry cork grease in your pocket.

29. You know what a shako is and insist on calling them that, threatening to kick anyone who dares to call them 'hats'.

30. 9/2 time scares the b'jeezus out of you, while dying a slow painful death in a pit of snakes doesn't.

31. Your philosophy is: "If you don't have your mouthpiece then what the heck is that noise coming out of your mouth?"

32. You and your pals have memorized the entire repertoire for the year and can play your respective parts together...on kazoos.

33. You hear a song on the radio and think: "Hey, this'd make a good pep band song."

34. You don't describe people by going "She's got brown hair, dark eyes, kind of tall..", but go "She's an alto sax."

35. Your conductor is your hero.

36. You have a designated section in your closet dubbed "for concert attire".

37. You have a harness/neck strap tan line.

38. Pep band is the highlight of your week.

39. You go around humming the last song you practiced, even if it's Bb major scale.

40. A random person could punch you in the face and you wouldn't respond, but you'll fight to the death over who in your section gets to play the solo.

41. Someone yells out "Hey Tuba boy!" and you respond.

42. Your biggest crush was/is your drum major.

43. You go to parades that you are not in and make sure lines are straight, horn angles are parallel, and everyone is in step.

44. You listen to the classical station and can name off songs that you remember playing in band.

45. You always start off on the left foot.

46. You find it complicated to get in step with your reflection.

47. You've seen "Mr.Holland's Opus" 26 times.

48. Everybody in band fights like they're family.

49. When walking down the hall you are in step with your friends. If someone is not, they fall behind or do a little foot shuffle to get in step.

50. You have dents in your furniture from hitting it with drumsticks or spit stains from emptying your valve.

51. You know how to play 10 popular-stand tunes, but know the words to none of them.

52. You point out key changes and dynamics when you listen to the radio.

53. You can strip out of your uniform in less than a minute WITHOUT getting it on the floor in order to use the bathroom.

54. You can carry four different food products at a time and eat them while standing with your instrument on moving bleachers in the rain and not drop any crumbs on your pep band jersey.

55. Having people help dress and undress you isn't even remotely sexually stimulating.

56. You know how to walk on mud without slipping.

57. You miss class to march in a parade.

58. You point out instruments from the music in cartoons.

59. You're still humming band music from three years ago.

60. You start screaming "LEFT! LEFT! LEFT!" to the people that walk in front of you on your way to class.

61. You've never had to pay to get into a football/basketball game.

62. Your feet are together, your stomach is in, your shoulders are back, your head is up, and your eyes are "with pride." 24/7.

63. You've been wittness to a fallen xylophone, bells, chimes, or marimba.

64. Your English teacher is discussing banned bookes and you think - "band books?"

65. You sit at what is known by all as the "Band Table" in the cafeteria.

66. You pile as many band people as you can in one car to go and see "Final Fantasy".

67. You tell people in the movie theater they're humming the "Final Fantasy" tune out of key.

68. You either hate orchestra or are incredibly envious of it.

69. You never go anywhere without a deck of cards (see below).

70. Your deck of cards have been used to such a degree that they've been ripped and taped, have dog eared corners, are an odd pinkish tinge, can no longer fit into their box, and people ask if they'll contract chlamidya from them. Amazingly though, you still have all 52.

71. Instead of doing the "L = left" thing with your hands, you take one step forward to figure out which is right and which is left.

72. You'll clean up the uniform room for a free soda.

73. You're feeling sick at school, but you don't go home until after band.

74. Your friends (uh... friend) who aren't in band hang out in the band room before class starts.

75. You've never ever sat in your class section at a pep rally because you're playing.

76. You still and always will find "Sax-a-ma-PHONE!" entertaining.

77. You find yourself drawing characters in uniforms with instruments.

78. You're in band, but you don 't play an instrument (see below).

79. You like band so much but you don't know how to play an instrument, so you join and become a runner for the band.

80. Normal people bet on horse racing, you bet on the DCI Championship.

81. People you haven't seen since elementary school go up to you and say "Hey, you're that one clarinet girl!"

82. In the hallway at school, someone drops a pencil and you holler "STICK!!!"

83. Someone starts clapping and you get nervous.

84. If your dog called you to attention you wouldn't faint out of surprise until the at-ease.

85. Friends tell you to "pee clear."

86. If you actually get to watch a parade in the off-season, you get the urge to say things like "Second rank, left file, watch the intervals!"

87. You name the city and the show, your friends know exactly when you're talking about.

88. Immediate respect for any drum major.

89. "Beef" has nothing to do with cows.

90. (If you tour) You have a refined ability to walk down an aisle on the edges of bus seats.

91. (See above) You fight over who gets to sleep on the floor.

92. You go into spasms if you aren't in the same room as your instrument for more than two hours.

93. Someone asks you who your favorite band is and you say"High school or college? 4A or 5A school? DCI or what?"

94. Wal-Mart is having a sale on lawn ornaments and you think "Wow, they're selling pit members now?"

95. You dent a tuba and blame it on flag line.

96. When you do squatt and go's to get to a class you are late for.

97. You go to other football games to watch the other band.

98. You play the fight songs for FUN!

99. You listen to band demo CDs in your car.

100. Your CDs consist of mainly orchestral/band music.

Summer Begins Now

2009-06-12T10:53:00.000-07:00

Nothing beats going to the drive-ins with your best friends. Janet, Amanda, Angel and I ventured out to see UP and Night at the Museum 2. Both were very very good movies. UP had more of a meaning for me though. When I was younger my grandma would take me camping and make me look for snipes in the trees. I was always upset because I could never find a snipe. Well Grandma, I found the snipes.

I've had a graduation party every weekend for the past three weeks. It's finally my turn this Sunday. Dad's family and Mom's family are going to be there along with my crazy-insane-i-wouldn't-have-it-any-other-way friends. I'm hoping someone gets me a laptop or maybe even a nice little mac book or something like that? Hint Hint.

My allergies are so bad. My cat has taken up sleeping in my bed with me at night because I keep my window opened. Which I think she learned her lesson last night because it poured down rain in the middle of the night and I wake up with my blankets wet on the one side from the rain that blew in my window. FML.

I leave for Florida in a little less than 3 weeks. 10 days with my best friend. I am so stoked. I've said it before but I really can't wait to get away from here. I need some time on my own to think about a lot of things. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents and sometimes I do love my sister but I'm really excited to get away for a little bit.

I'm uploading pictures to walgreens to have printed so I can finish the poster board for my party. It's taking forever.

peaceandlove
ashley

2009-06-07T22:33:00.000-07:00

Well it finally happened...After 14 long years of school (yes I count preschool and kindergarten...) I finally graduated. It was a bittersweet day. I knew this was the last time I was going to see quite a few people and there was a few of them I am glad I don't have to see daily anymore. I can't wait to come back in 10 years and see what everyone is doing. The speeches at graduation were so motivational. I was so proud of Aleah, Justin, Sky and especially Stoney. Those were the best of the speeches. Jess and I were sitting together, trying not to cry. Haha we're such babies when it comes to stuff like this.

I haven't had one weekend free yet in June. I've been to so many grad parties and my diet has just gone out the window. Florida is only 25 days away and I have some major vacation shopping to do. I'm going to disney for my first time ever. I am so completely stoked and not to mention I will be with my best friend for 10 straight days on the beach. I come back from Florida and I am going to Texas to stay with my aunt for a week or so. I'm flying by myself and I am so nervous. I don't care for planes too much and I hate being alone. I am so trying to bring a friend with me haha.

Anyways, What music are you guys listening to this summer? I need to put down Fast Times at Barrington High...It's been the soundtrack for my senior year/graduation...

Widget

2009-06-03T22:14:00.001-07:00

2009-05-30T19:37:00.000-07:00

I heard this song before graduation.
He should've been there and he should've walked at graduation.

I would like to see you try

2009-05-21T16:16:00.000-07:00

We are graduating.
We deserve this.
You'll have your moment some other year.
You really would hit a girl?
Thats pathetic...

I was going to give you a second chance but you just blew it right out of the water.

2009-05-20T18:59:00.000-07:00

My senior cosmetology class right before we received our licenses.

In other news, if you're reading this..

I don't think things are going to change anytime soon.

personality?

2009-05-16T21:50:00.001-07:00

ENFJ - "Persuader". Outstanding leader of groups. Can be aggressive at helping others to be the best that they can be. 2.5% of total population.

Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test

View From Heaven

2009-05-16T21:19:00.001-07:00

I was cleaning out some pictures on the computer and I found this little gem.

I miss you Brandon.
You should be graduating with me but you're not here.
You could've gone to college.
You could've...

I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I love you. I miss you.
I wish you were still here.

2009-05-14T16:18:00.001-07:00

you can't follow any guidelines, you have to make your own set of rules and find a way to make yourself happy -Ryan Ross

This is true.

Total FML kinda day

2009-05-14T13:36:00.001-07:00

So yesterday was my first adventure being alone on a college campus. I learned quite a few things.

1) Never Mapquest directions to a specific building. Better yet...Don't mapquest anything.
2) Parking is a pain in the rear
3) Don't stop and stare at the cute boy playing acoustically under a tree.

So I had to go to Akron to take my placement testing yesterday. No big deal. I left school at 10:30 with my trusty directions on how to get to the building I needed to be in. I was feeling great and about 98% sure I knew where to go.

11:30 I am still driving around trying to find where I need to park at. The testing lab closed at 2. I am talking on my phone to my Dad and driving at the same time. I had never done that before and let me tell you, DO NOT EVER CALL ME WHEN I AM DRIVING. I will not answer. I am not skilled enough to hold a phone and make a left hand turn in front of an cop at the same time. Which yesterday must've been a "lets send every single Akron Cop out" day. I kept throwing my phone down everytime I saw one. I think my Dad was getting mad. Oh well.

I ended up traveling campus on foot. Some how I ended up behind the JAR arena and thats where I saw the cute brown hair boy playing Dashboard on his guitar. I wanted to sit and listen but by now it was 12:30 and I really needed to find this building.
Finally 12:45 rolls around and I find the building and get my testing done.

I get home from all this and pass out on the couch. I woke up with a fever and a super duper sore throat (worse than its been). Today it has moved into a super sore throat and sinus pressure worse than anything.

State board test on monday. If I pass I am done with high school. Today was my actual last day of cosmetology. Hell yes!

Hm maybe I will bleach my hair to celebrate...
What do you guys think? Should I maintain my ginger ways or go bombshell blonde?

Here we go...

2009-05-10T20:08:00.000-07:00

I want a boy:
who will move the hair away from my eyes, and then kiss me.
Who will hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous.
A pretty boy, but not so pretty that I feel awkward.
A boy who thinks I'm b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l.
A boy who will sing to me at random moments.
Who lets me sleep on his chest.
I want a guy who will tell his mother I have beautiful eyes,
a guy who will bring me orange juice when I'm sick,
who writes songs about me because he doesn't know any other way to tell me how he feels.
I want a boy who is more goofy than romantic, but knows the right things to say at the right times.
I want a boy who will call me 3 times a day if he went away.
A boy who will apologize for calling too much, and no matter how many times I tell him its okay, he'd still do it.
A boy who will let me gossip to him and just smile and agree with everything I say. A boy who will throw stuffed animals at me when I acted dumb and then jump on me and kiss me a million times.
I want a boy who will write me notes in class, and give me flowers every once in a while for no real reason at all.
Who will bet kisses on who could beat who on at game.
Who makes fun of me just to make me laugh.
A boy who will surprise me with 25 cent ring and we could have contest of how far we can spit our gum.
Who will take me to the park, put his hands around my waist and give me big bear hugs all the time.
A boy who will kiss my neck, just to have a reason to tell me how much he loves my new perfume.
I want a boy who, at night, who will dance in his pajamas with me.
A boy who will take pictures in photo booths with me,
someone who will never turn down a trip to the lake and who will play tag on the beach with me.
Who will tell all his friends about me and smile when he does it.
A boy who could sit with me on the kitchen floor and eat sandwiches.
Who will make out with me in the pouring rain and will tell me when he doesn't think something looks good.
I want a boy who would try to teach me how to play the guitar, even if we just end up laughing at each other.
I want a boy who will run his fingers through my hair,
share his lollipops with me, and get along with all of my friends.
Someone who would never be afraid to say I love you in front of his friends and someone who would argue with me about silly things just to make up.
I want a boy who will take me to Target to just make fun of some of the stuff there. Someone who will kiss me at midnight on New Years
and who will make funny faces at me when I'm on the phone.
I want a boy who will count stars with me and be friends with my family.
I want a boy who will stay home with me on a Friday night just to help me make dinner and watch movies together under the same blanket.
Someone who will squirt water guns at me in the house after I've got him soaked.
A boy who will tell me I'm b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l but not too often.
I want a boy who looks me the eye and tell me something serious, that was also funny and make me promise not to laugh.
A boy who could make me laugh like no one else can.
I want a boy who will hold me closer than normal when I'm sick, and would play with my hair.
But mostly I want a boy who is my best friend and will always be there for me.

If you think I'm crazy...you should see my mother.

2009-05-10T19:38:00.002-07:00

She opens up my bedroom door
she's waking me up soon
"I'm turning on the light" she warns
it's the little things that you do
she's the one that starts my day..
my dear mom... my comforter
my friend forever
when life's right or wrong
she is also my laughter
Yet my shoulder to cry on

my mom is my super hero
my mom is my world ...]

all out of gas no place to go
she knows just what I'll say
she turns and laughs and opens up
her purse
and gives enough for the week
she didn't have to give but she did
it's just the kind of woman she is
Love, she is love
my dear mom...

my mom is my super hero
my mom is my world...]

Love is an action that she shows me often.
even when it's not in her kisses
blessed with a mom who puts herself after her children.
it doesn't get much better than priceless...

my mom is my super hero
my mom is my world...]

I love you mom. You're the greatest. I know you probably won't read this but I want everyone else to know how amazing you are.

Sweet Memories

2009-05-03T18:10:00.000-07:00

Prom 2009

2nd over time...this game is killing me

2009-04-30T19:34:00.001-07:00

Pick a word that starts with the first letter of your first name:
Anaconda

Did you sleep alone last night?
yes

What were you doing at 8 this morning?
probably doing a roller set in cosmetology

How many piercings do you have?
2

Where's your ex? Do you care? Are you happy without her/him?
one is deceased and the other I have no clue. I still miss Brandon but as for the other one who will remain unnamed....yeah I hope you're happily married..

How old do you look?
I've been told I look 14-15 at the most.
i'm 18

What are you looking forward to this weekend?
PROM

When is the last time you went to a restaurant with your mom?
Today

Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
there's a few

What are you listening to right now?
Celtics v. Bulls

Do you believe you can change someone?
You can influence...but not change

When is your birthday?
10/24

Have you ever ran away?
lol when I was like 5 I packed my barbie storage thing with my barbies and walked out of the house and sat on the sidewalk...if that counts

If alcohol were banned, what would be your reaction?
oh...

What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
sleeeeeeepy

What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?
already?

Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
who hasn't

Does it bother you when someone lies to you?
yes

How are you feeling?
good...my throat is a little bit sore though

Who was your last text from?
Brittani asking for orange eyeshadow for prom

Does it bother you when people try to make you jealous?
Nope

Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?
haha yes

Do you wish someone would call or text you?
not now. I wouldn't answer. I'm grumpy and yelling at my TV

Is there anything you're wondering about?
who will win this game and when is this swine flu stuff going to end?

Have you ever walked on the beach at night?
I will this summer <3

Name something you are doing tonight?
sleeping

Where is your mom?
where's your mom?

When was the last time something bothered you?
throat

What did you have for breakfast?
raisin toast om nom nom

2009-04-29T19:04:00.001-07:00

I thought I was born to lose,then came you.
I thought I knew what the real thing was but nothing shakes me like your love does. I've been hypnotized.
now I realize...
every road that I've been down, the only truth that I have found,
there's only one thing i can't live without,
you.
every time i get lost in a temperamental mood, you still stay cool.
just when i think that this life's about to drive me insane,
you take the reins.
every time i feel i'm drifting off course,
you're my compass,
you're my one true north.
in a mixed up world
you make sense to me boy.<3

Multi Purpose Blog

2009-04-29T18:34:00.001-07:00

Watching American Idol...how is Taylor Hicks still relevant?

Anyways I need a big favor guys. I know a lot of you aren't from around here but my best friends are in a band called August. They are a group of amazingly talented guys and they deserve this so much. Go to www.alive.org and on the home page go to the new artist talent search voting. You can vote for August into the alive festival once a day everyday!! Please go vote everyday and spread the word to others :)

This is an amazing opportunity that can only happen through you!

*You use your e-mail address to vote and you can only vote once a day, but if you vote everyday it's going to be a huge help*

p.s. If you have any questions please feel free to comment and let me know

p.p.s. To learn more about them simply go to www.myspace.com/august

A - Age: 18

B - Bed size: twin

C - Chore you hate: sweeping

D - Dog's name: no dog. two cats millie and rosie .

E - Essential start your day item: morning pee

F - Favorite color: greens and teals

G - Gold or Silver: silver

H - Height: 5 foot

I - Instruments you play: flute, piccolo, alto sax, guitar, bass guitar, triangle and cow bell

J - Job title: student, make-up artist

K - Kid(s): None

L - Living arrangements: home sweet home

M - Mom's name: Robin

N - Nicknames: Ash, Ashers, Asherlaweeey,

O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: lots of times

P - Pet Peeve: not using blinkers

Q - Favorite Quote: you can't follow any guidelines, you have to make your own set of rules and find a way to make yourself happy

R - Right or left handed: both

S - Siblings: sister

T - Time you wake up : 6-ish

U- Underwear: of course

V - Vegetable you dislike: carrots...

W - Ways you run late: taking too much time on my hair and stuff lol

X - X-rays you've had: chest x-ray over the summer

Y - Yummy food you make: no bakes :]]]

Z - Zoo favorite: Sea Lions, seals and zebras

2009-04-28T19:50:00.000-07:00

The past few days it's been simply beautiful out. It made me realize how much I love my life. My skin was slightly pink for a couple of days due to the 90 degrees and sunshine I enjoyed.

The stress of DI is over with. We came in 9th out of 16 teams. It wasn't bad at all. I'm happy with everything and the most important part of it is that I had a great time. I'm now an official DI Alumni. Next year, I venture out as a team manager to 6 middle school girls. I'm super stoked for this. They are the coolest kids I've ever met and they are all super talented in every way possible. Congrats to the challenge C and the Challenge A teams going to globals next month. Good luck and have a blast guys. You deserved it.

I'm off to finish more research for my paper. I'll write more later...

-Ash

Survey. Please help me out!

2009-04-26T18:43:00.000-07:00

***ANON COMMENTING IS ON TO PROTECT THE GUILTY

Music Downloading, Social Networking and File Sharing Survey
This is a confidential survey. Do not put your name on it.
It will be used for research purposes only.
Feel free to skip any questions you are uncomfortable with answering.

1) Do you download music?
___ Yes
___ No

2) If you said yes, What programs do you use to download your music? (check all that apply)
___ Limewire
___ Bearshare
___ iTunes
___ Napster
___ bitTorrent
___ Kazaa
___ Other (if checked please specify)_________________

3) About how often do you download music?
___ Rarely or none at all
___ Often
___ Frequently
___ Daily

4) When you purchase a record, do you purchase it from a store or online music stores?
___ Record Store
___ Online

5) Do you belong to a social networking site?
___ Yes
___ No

6) If yes, what site(s) do you belong to? (check more than one if necessary)
___ Myspace
___ PureVolume
___ Facebook
___ Bebo
___ MyYearbook
___ Livejournal
___ Tumblr
___ Twitter
___ other (please specify) _______________________________

7) Do you feel that social networking sites have negatively affected the music industry?

8) Do you feel file-sharing is causing the industry to decline?

Class of 2009

2009-04-23T18:38:00.001-07:00

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

2009-04-21T17:41:00.000-07:00

I can not wait for this summer.
The beach with my best friend.
Hello Summer time?

Oh Canada...

2009-04-19T14:14:00.000-07:00

Oh Canada...

I left Thursday around 12:30 with the BHS Band to head off to Toronto, Canada to help them with their performance in the Festival of Music. We had a sweet bus driver who was pretty much the most chill guy ever. I totally did NOT get any sleep on the way up there due to the fact of Juno and The Dark Knight were playing on the bus and I ate more chocolate than I should have.

Getting over the boarder was pretty easy. I prefer going in larger vehicles opposed to a small family car. They looked at everyone's birth certificate, asked if we were all born in America and asked where we were going and why. Simple as that. I don't get why people get all jittery when we got up there. As long as you keep quiet, let the chaperone talk, its all good.

First stop was in Niagara Falls. Janet and I wanted to venture off into a casino but it was a school trip so we opted for the arcade instead. Saved us some money no doubt. Janet, Sky and I wandered around for awhile. Janet wanted to find a mounty but the closest thing was a police officer on a bike. We stopped in the Ripley's Museum, Wax Museums galore and some various little trinket shops here and there. Crossing the streets was probably my biggest adventure.

The hotel was beautiful. We stayed in the Delta Toronto East. I felt like a rockstar walking through the hotel. The lobby was composed of granite and leather. There was a bridge walkway over the pool (which had a hot tub, sauna and 2 water slides) Girls stayed on the 9th floor and the boys stayed on the 3rd floor. The 9th floor was the party floor. Janet, Tubby, Beth and I had room 911 (our luck right?) The rooms were so so so so so so so so nice. I can't get over how much I loved it. Everything was A+

The CN Tower was pretty much amazing. Everyone was freaking out about how high up it was. I just went up there like it was nothing. I wish I was afraid of heights sometimes. There was just no thrill on the elevator. My ears plugged and refused to pop. I jumped around on the glass floor and took a walk outside of the tower. It was so windy. I tried to take pictures but it was pretty much impossible. The bathrooms at the top of the tower were super nice too. I can't imagine how the plumbing must look.

Oh at this point I would also like to say screw you metric system. It totally threw me off the whole weekend.

We were supposed to have a pool party at the hotel but some stupid choir decided to "rent out" the pool and then have their chaperones come up and threaten our band kids. It took everything I had not lash out and tell the one lady that Jenny Craig and her could best friends. We ended up having a pizza party thats to Nico and Sarah's mom. Thanks guys! Janet and I grabbed pizza and went back to chill in our room.

Got up at 6:30 the next morning to have a pool party. Barberton kids are insane at 6:30AM. Jake, Blake and a few others were running and doing flips into the water. Eddie was walking on his hands. Megan, Nicky, Beth, Janet, Kelsey and I chilled in the hot tub then we all went to breakfast together.

That hotel had the best food I've had let me tell you.

Checked out of the hotel and loaded up the busses and headed off to the science center. It was pretty sweet. We saw an omnimax film...Journey to the mecca. It made me sick so I ended up sleeping through it. Janet and I explored the human body exhibit. There was a whole section dedicated to sex and birth control. If there's one thing I learned there it would be "Sperm don't care if you enjoyed the sex or not" I also tried out this machine that aged me 50 years. yeah I won't be taking pictures of myself when i'm 68. Not a pretty sight haha.

Blue Jays won the baseball game. It only went into...12 INNINGS! I kept myself occupied by listening to the rest of the band make fun of a player on the Oakland A's. SWEENEY LIKES WEENIE or SWEENEY WEARS WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR or SWEENEY HAS A TINY WEENIE. Our whole section was cracking up. Leave it to Barberton kids to bring the party.

Walked and did some sight-seeing around down town Toronto. We walked through the musical gardens and all the way to Medieval Times. I <3 this place so much. Good food, party time all around. Some guy was completely wasted and kept asking our band to sing "Hey Baby" for him. There was a dance off in the middle of the building between our band and some other band that was there. We won in spirit. Team Black and White. If you ever get the chance to go to a Medieval Times...Go..its totally worth it.

I got back at like 4:30 this morning. I am beat but I wanted to share this with you guys.

Love
Ashley

I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare

2009-04-14T17:39:00.000-07:00

There's so much left to do before I leave it's insane. Tomorrow is going to be the longest day of my school career ever. I've been making list after list of things to do and what I plan to accomplish. I'm kinda getting sick of living my life by lists. I prefer more spontaneous things.

I'm not performing with the band in Toronto so I was promoted to band manager/tour manager. Sweet Nibblets. It's going to be one sweet trip. Downside...Verizon is not covered in Toronto. Epic Fail Verizon....

Um, I don't know where else to vent about this so here we go...

I thought about what was said on Monday. I felt like complete crap for it but then I realized, it's a two-way street. You don't talk to me either honey. If I remember correctly, you told me to stop caring. I haven't stopped caring, just to let you know. I feel like i'm going through freshman year all over again. It's just like losing her friendship. It was hard as hell on me and this sure isn't easy. The only thing that makes this harder is the fact I have to smile and pretend its okay when you're around. I went to him to try and get this resolved and it's not getting any better. I get the fact you're mad I went to the principal after you told me to stop caring. Like papa roach said.. My weakness is I care too much. It really is. Will things ever be okay? I don't know. Am I hurting? Yes. Do I love you? Yes. Am I mad that you're making me out to be the bad person by having your mom pretty much tell me off like that? Yes. Am I going to let it bother me anymore? I'm not going to let anyone bring me down anymore.

And it's obvious that you're dying, dying.
Just living proof that the camera's lying.
And oh oh open wide, 'cause this is your night.
So smile, 'cause you'll go out in style.
You'll go out in style.

Ashley-ology

2009-04-11T19:10:00.000-07:00

***********FOODOLOGY***************
1. What is your salad dressing of choice?
Ranch lol boring I know

2. What is your favorite sit down restaurant?
Olive Garden, Joe's Crab Shack, Habachi Japan

3. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
There isn't one. I get bored easily

4. What is your favorite pizza topping?
bacon and hot pepper rings om nom nom

5. What do you like to put on your toast?
Butter and cinnamon sugar

***********TECHNOLOGY***************
6. How many televisions are in your house?
too many to count

7. What color cell phone do you have?
PURPLE and silver too

8. Do you have an Ipod?
no my phone doubles as one

***************BIOLOGY******************
9. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right

10. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Your mom

11. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
laundry baskets..they weren't really that heavy but you know~

12. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
yep lol my life

************DUMBOLOGY******************
13. How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
two

14. Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
haha a couple months ago

15. Last person you talked to?
Megan

16. Last person you hugged?
Janet

**************FAVORITOLOGY****************
17. Season?
Late Spring/Early Summer

18. Holidays?
halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, my birthday

19. Day of the week?
Friday

20. Month?
June, April, October
***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************

21. Missing someone?
yes yes

22. Mood?
sleeeeepy

23. What are you listening to?
After the last midtown show...live from the musica :DD

24. Watching?
youtube videos

25. Worrying about?
Toronto

***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************

26. First place you went this morning?
the kitchen to find out why mom was yelling about vacuum cleaners

27. What's the last movie you saw?
omg If I have to see my cousin vinny one more time....

28. Do you smile often?
a lot

29. Sleeping Alone Tonight?
no...
ha yes I am.

***************OTHER-OLOGY*****************

30. Do you always answer your phone?
for the most part...unless its on vcast mode and then I'm like eh screw it

31. It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
Probably someone telling me I lost the game.

32. If you could change your eye color what would it be?
bright bright green

33. If you could change your hair color?
ha, I might add blonde or black here and there, but I will always be my natural red head self

34. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?
CHERRY CAUSE I'M BORING LIKE THAT OKAY?????

35. Do you own a digital camera?
yes

36. Have you ever had a pet fish?
yes

37. Favorite Christmas song(s).
Silver Bells and Winter Wonderland

38. What's on your wish list for your birthday?
another tattoo, an ipod nano and the sims 3

39. Can you do push ups?
yep

40. Can you do a chin up?
ha and i'm how tall again?

41. Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
equally both...more worried though

42. Do you have any saved texts?
Yes

43. Ever been in a car wreck?
Yes

44. Do you have an accent?
when I feel like it

45. What is the last song to make you cry?
Paper Chase. It made me think of these past four years and how much has changed.

46. Plans tonight?
cleaning and packing...the norm.

47. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
8th grade/freshman year

48. Name 3 things you bought yesterday?
two shirts from Charlotte Russe, a sweater from hollister and jeans from vanity
and I only spent 50.00...I rock at shopping.

49. Have you ever been given roses?
yes

50. Current worry?
graduation

51. Current hate right now?
school

52. Met someone who changed your life?
yes

53. How did you bring in the New Year?
Janet's

54. A song that represents you?
Fighter

55. Name three people who might complete this?
yeah, um...maybe anna and rissa...idk who else.

56. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Sure. It would be an adventure and a half

57. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
Yes

58. Do you have any tattoos/piercing?
my ears, soon to be done again, one tattoo around my ankle and soon to be another one but idk where yet

59. Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now?
yeah, I don't know about that one

60. Does anyone love you?
I guess

61. Would you be a pirate?
NO BECAUSE PIRATES TODAY DO NOT HAVE EYE PATCHES AND PEG LEGS. I AM SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU!

62. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Normally, its either Penny Lane or Womanizer

63. Ever had someone sing to you?
Yes :]

64. When did you last cry?
Thursday?

65. Do you like to cuddle?
yes yes yes

66. Have you held hands with anyone today?
nope

67. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
lol Evan Taubenfeld and William Beckett

68. What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
Shania Twain, Nsync, BSB and Brit Brit and Xtina

69. Do you believe in staying close with your ex's/prospects?
sure?

70. Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
equal

71. Do you like pulpy orange juice?
I only like sunny D...which really isn't OJ

72. What is something your friends make fun of you for?
my height DDDDD:

73. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
god no

74. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Molly or Reeva

75. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
yes..give me milk and bread and a bucket to vomit in after though

So my dad is pretty much awesome.

2009-04-10T21:54:00.000-07:00

He went to the mall with me today so I could get a last few things before I leave for Toronto. We stopped in Hot Topic just to look around and stuff. I was on the hunt for a TAI shirt (which I did not get at the concert due to the INSANE crowd but I decided the picture was worth more than the shirt anyways). So anyways, my sister is in line to buy something and my dad's looking at twilight stickers. This was the conversation.

Dad: Maybe I should get a twilight sticker
Lady at register (talking to my dad): You should get the I Love Boys Who Sparkle one.
Dad totally doesn't get it nor does he say anything.

So we're leaving the store and the girl starts laughing. We get half way down the food court and he goes "Ashley, did she just call me gay?" I cracked up laughing.

That was pretty much the highlight of my day.

Spring Break FTW

2009-04-09T19:32:00.001-07:00

It's been anything but spring break for me. It's been a really really rough week, family wise and friend wise.

Monday, It was so cold and rainy. I really regretted going to pick Janet up from class in basketball shorts and a hoodie. I froze my little lack of ass off in the cold because I didn't want to wait for the car to heat up. I spent the rest of the day sleeping and trying to get something packed for Toronto.
Tuesday, was spent cleaning and packing and I stopped at Starbucks for Janet to try and bring some cheer to her. I succeeded. I ended up ushering Megan around town to her lesson and what not. FML. Do I look like your taxi service? Day one of pure annoyance.
Wednesday and Today, my cousins were over. I missed them so much. It was great getting to see them. Megan continued to get on my nerves with her attitude. I got no packing done and my room is an even bigger mess.

Tomorrow I am hoping to get my lazy butt up to the mall, after getting a new muffler for my car. I need to get some new threads for next weekend. I'm going crazy with this packing business. I have no idea where to start. I always have this problem and this is only 4 days. Can you imagine the problems I am going to have when I go to Florida this summer with Janet?

It's supposed to storm tomorrow too...maybe I can get some writing done. I've been meaning to...

Cheater of the year

2009-04-06T10:00:00.000-07:00

I love this song. I love this boy. I love discovering new music.

Picture Post the rest of TAI pictures

2009-04-05T18:19:00.000-07:00

The Academy Is @ The Musica in Akron April 3rd 2009

2009-04-04T12:45:00.001-07:00

So much fun.

After a long day at school and an even longer afternoon, Janet and I finally had something to be excited for. Doors weren't supposed to open till Seven but they actually opened them at like 5 and there were easily about 75 people already crammed up in the front. Janet and I took a spot by the stage and complained about the ridiculously tall 15 year old in front of us. We could barely see but we ended up moving ourselves up closer.

Let me just tell you all I have a mad love now for Evan Taubenfeld. The boy is amazingly talented and he knows how to work a crowd. He's such a natural born performer and not to mention he's quite the looker haha :]

Empires..I never really listened to them before so I was kinda the lost duck there. They were pretty good. Sucks to be the dude with laryngitis. Get well soon and thanks for the handshake. I better not get sick now lol

The Academy Is...aka William and Sisky were pretty amazing. William got up on stage and did his thing. Sisky sat on a stool next to Janet and I the whole time except for like two songs because he was up on stage. He looked pissed about something so I didn't bother him. My pictures didn't turn out the greatest because of the people being rude and the giant pole in my face but I still have some really great shots

and for the record my feet are STILL killing me because I decided to wear flip flops and then proceed to stand in line for 45 minutes to meet the guys.

There's my quick little review. If you want to know more ask. I'm in a rush right now and I wanted to post a little something to show off my not so crappy pictures ahaha

edit: set list from what I remember...not in order mind you

about a girl
his girl friday
Seed... Read More
Automatic Eyes
Rumored Nights
The test
Attention
down and out
slow down
the phrase that pays
classifieds
pearl jam ( can't remember the song)
the shins (same)
alkaline Trio (same)
and a few more I can't remember either but it was a really good set

2009-04-01T18:51:00.000-07:00

I need inspiration to get myself motivated for working out.

If you have any:

songs to work out to
pictures that would motivate me
quotes
etc...

I need to get into shape and I have no motivation right now.

I'm learning to stand on my own

2009-03-30T12:30:00.000-07:00

I don't care if its a wedding cake. I want that cake for my graduation party. That totally beats my Hannah Montana cake I had for my 18th birthday party back in October.

I need to write more. I've been holding all my feelings back again. I need to put a pen in my hand and just let everything out. Maybe then I can make sense of everything and make more rational decisions with my life. Lately, I've been making things as I go and thats all fine and dandy but I kinda do like having an order to my life...especially when I have a week that looks like this..

Monday: Schooling
Tuesday: Nursing Home, Schooling
Wednesday: Placement Testing, Picking up Janet from class, color Janet's mom's hair
Thursday: Last day for client services in cos before we hand it over to the juniors
Friday: Schooling, Working the prom fashion show, helping Tri-M, TAI Concert :DD
Saturday: More Tri-M, Church to help with candy orders

Thank the Lord for spring break next week. Although it will be spent taking placement tests and packing for Toronto.

I'm super stoked for Toronto. I need to get away from everything right now. I've been so stressed out lately to the point its affecting my health. I need to get away and relax. I also need to learn that once you go through the chain of command, change is all left up to the individual. You can't make a person change. They have to do it on their own and they have to make their own choices. Its getting down to the wire and I'm learning each and every day who my true friends are. My number of friends keeps going down and down as I weed out the ones I know I can depend on for sure. It's a sad thing when you can count on one hand, but at the same time its a good thing because you have a less chance of getting hurt.

So thank you Janet, Ashley, Teisha, Beth.

2009-03-27T20:19:00.001-07:00

stoked for next friday too

2009-03-27T20:15:00.000-07:00

I get to meet this talented man.
My inner shear-genius fan girl is raging.

My Week in horoscopes.

2009-03-22T19:37:00.000-07:00

March 22nd

Recent harmony in your family is a little upset today, thanks to a strange conflict that might not even involve you. Try to tiptoe around it unless it flares up in your face -- then deal.

March 23rd
You're on track for romance today, whether you know it or not! Your sweet, emotional energy is just right for attracting someone new, or for making the right person see just how awesome you really are.

March 24th
Do something creative today -- it can be almost anything! Your great energy is perfect for art, pranks, games and general weirdness, so make the most of it and enjoy every moment of the day.

March 25th
Your mind is wandering far and wide, but you are still connected to real life too. It's one of those days when you can think up ideas for plans to put together far in there future, when you're ready.

March 26th
Without even realizing what you're doing, you score yourself some sweet karma by helping out someone who really needs it. You may find that the good work you do is its own reward.

March 27th
Volunteer work and other kinds of community service seem especially compelling to you right now, though you may not be ready to devote your entire life to service just yet. Ease into it!

March 28th
Any conflict that goes down today might be tough to handle, so do your best to stay chill and go along with stuff that would ordinarily drive you nuts. In a few days you can get back to business.

What a load of bull. This is so off its not even funny...

I need to start packing for toronto.

12 days until TAI
24 until canada
40 days until graduation (school days)

Scars

2009-03-21T22:20:00.001-07:00

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

Lost...

2009-03-21T21:49:00.000-07:00

I hate the feeling of knowing you're losing something you love. Let me tell you a story.

I remember way back in the day, I used to have this friend. I spent 4 years of my life being friends with her. We did everything together. I thought that best friends forever was meant to be taken seriously. Anyways, add in a stupid boy and a girl who I'd known my whole life and ta-da. Instant friendship ending recipe. She told me that she was only my friend because she felt sorry for me. The other girl was a better friend than I could ever be and oh yeah..not to talk to her ever again. I felt so empty after that night. I gave and gave and gave in that friendship and never got anything in return. I wasted four years of my life on someone who didn't give a hoot what happened to me in the end.

It would turn out that I would find someone who is a better friend than she ever was and I became a stronger person. Granted, I'm a little bit more cautious with who I let into my life now...but still. And to this day, I still hold her to what she said. I rarely talk to her and I guess everything worked out for the better...

Flash foward to today...

I've done everything I can for you. I've given and given and given and its never going to be enough. I'm not one for giving up but I can't keep going through the cycles. My weakness is that I care too much...maybe you are the one who's right. Maybe I do need to "quit treating you like you're going to hang yourself" Maybe I need to let you figure out what to do on your own. Maybe I just need to let go because holding onto something that doesn't want you there. There's only so much you can do in a situation and I think I've done everything I can. I still am going to be there for you. You come to me when you need me.

2009-03-18T19:55:00.000-07:00

When you look back at everything that has happened in the years you have been here, a lot of the things you did were not worth it. The closer you get to someone, the harder it is to trust, to love, to listen, and to feel when they are gone. We might not ever know why things happen the way they do, or why we lose the people that we would have hoped to been around forever, but they happen, and regardless of what they did or why they did it, you have to learn to forgive and that's the answers to all your problems, I promise

A friend in need is a friend indeed?

2009-03-15T17:43:00.000-07:00

I wasn't mad at first but now I am ticked. Its been building up for awhile and I have no where else to vent this all out. One angst ridden vent blog coming up.

I love you to death and you're one of my best friends but Heathus Christ, I don't know what has gotten into you lately. I haven't been able to get that conversation out of my head. I've done everything I can to get you help. I don't know what else to do. You pretty much admitted to me that you are still self-harming and for you to tell me that I need to stop treating you like you're going to go home and hang yourself? Well there's nothing like a big slap in the face. This is what I get for trying to be a friend and help you out. Self-harming often leads to suicides. I've had so many people close to me commit suicide in these past two years. Its not something I take very lightly. Excuse me for caring about my friends...excuse me for having a heart...
When you told me all that stuff, my heart broke. I got home and cried about it. I cried because I had to face the music and realize that nothing I say or do is going to get through to you. I can't always be the hero. I can't always fix everything.

If this all because of the fact you got dumped, coming from my perspective, it's a little bit on the obsessive side. Keeping track of the time, still moping about the fact and trying to constantly talk to him, it gets obsessive after awhile. Before you start with the "I got my heart ripped out" put yourself in someone else's shoes. I had my heart ripped to pieces...permanently and you don't see me still moping over it. Granted, I hear a song or see something and it takes me back, but everything happens for a reason. You have to move on and realize enough is enough...No one wants to feel stalked...

Now, I wasn't mad but I am now. What happened last Saturday was pretty much out of control. You know what i'm talking about and I can't really say anything more other than, You need to learn self control and learn when enough is enough. Oddly enough, that can be applied to the above paragraph. You need to get your priorities straight. Whats important to you?

End of story.

I'm not going to let people bring me down. I can't let that happen. I feel like every time I try to help someone out it always backfires...yet for some reason I always continue to help people. Sometimes I wish I were a real bitch...

A real update...

2009-03-14T20:52:00.000-07:00

I saw watchmen last night. It was pretty darn amazing. I don't think Tori liked it all that much but I know David and I liked it a lot. I had heard a lot of bad things about it, but it turned out to be better than what I was expecting. Lesson learned? Always expect the worst?

I am so proud of the Barberton High School Symphonic band getting their straight 1's at OMEA. You guys deserved it. I am also very very very very very proud of the Barberton Magics Boys Basketball team wining their division championship tonight. Way to go guys. I am so proud of all of you.

All next week I get to sleep in til 10:30. The freshman and sophomores are taking their Ohio Graduation Tests. While my sister and her friends get up early to go to school I will be slowly waking up, getting the best friends and enjoying breakfast and party time all week long. Not to mention spring break in two weeks AND its like 5 weeks left of school before graduation. Super stoked.

So for any of you who play the sims...where do you download CC that won't screw up your game. I just had to uninstall and reinstall my games because of crappy CC...I already know www.thesims2.com...Just putting this out there for my nerdy self

He's Just Not That Into You

2009-03-13T19:55:00.000-07:00

Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.

These are the fast times...

2009-03-11T18:24:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I swam here. All together I probably did 2000 yards? lol i'm lazy considering everyone else 3000 yards...I started goofing off after awhile.

Tonight I watched the magics take home another victory. I am so proud of you boys.
Keep it up. :D

Scorpio Horoscope through the week

2009-03-10T19:53:00.000-07:00

March 10th
You're totally irresistible when you're feeling vulnerable and unsure. So don't feel too self-conscious -- someone is watching you with delight as you stumble and bumble through your day. This could be highly profitable when it comes to love.

March 11th
Something you've long dreaded but anticipated will soon come bearing down on you. And when it does, don't hesitate to reach out for help. The end result, of course, won't be nearly as painful as you once imagined. You have that much going for you!

March 12th
You are way better off with a plan than winging it right now. Create a schedule for the next few days and stick to it. You'll need the ammo when dull people come to you with invitations to boring events. Sorry, you have other plans.

March 13th
Anything 'ex' is off limits. So, if you're thinking of hooking up with an ex-boyfriend or your ex-girlfriend's best friend, know what you're getting into. Though it may be fun in the moment, the emotional hangover will be unbearable.

March 14th
It's more about the messenger than the message today. So when you some juicy gossip about a friend or coworker, consider the source. Long-standing rivalries will come out sideways, so don't get caught in the middle. Keep your head down to avoid flying objects.

March 15th

Soften up a little Frosty. Your aloof facade is driving them away in droves. Sure, you're not the most emotive person, but try to open up a bit. Someone really wants to get to know you, but that stone-cold veneer is impenetrable. They'll soon give up.

lol my life.

The world of improv...I improv my life

2009-03-10T18:14:00.000-07:00

And now I'd take it all back if I could...but I won't

2009-03-09T19:52:00.000-07:00

David and Ashley Do Mariachi

2009-03-09T17:06:00.001-07:00

The Really Really Really Ridiculously Good Looking Team takes 2nd place at Destination Imagination Regional Competition

2009-03-08T13:26:00.000-07:00

Amazing day.

Barberton dominated yet again. We took majority of the 1st, 2nd and 3rd places. TRRRRRGLT will attend state competition in Dublin, Ohio on April 25th.

There was a girl I knew, who always wanted to be the one to stand out from the crowd

2009-03-05T19:26:00.000-08:00

***15 YEARS AGO (1994)****
1) How old were you? 4
2) Who were you dating? No one, with my busy play time schedule I didn't have time for boys
3) Where did you work? Barbie's pizza shop
4) Where did you live? Ohio
5) Where did you hang out? preschool
6) Did you wear contacts and/or glasses? HUGE GLASSES HAHA
7) Who were your best friends? Angel and AJ
8) How many tattoos did you have? none
9) How many piercings did you have? none
10) What kind of car did you drive? lol my barbies had a mustang
11) Had you been to a real party? birthday
12) Had you had your heart broken? nope
13) Were you Single/taken/Married/Divorced? single
14) Any kids? I had like 800 baby dolls
***10 YEARS AGO (1999)***
1) How old were you? 10
2) Who were you dating? no one
3) Where did you work? no where
4) Where did you live? Ohio
5) Where did you hang out? house
6) Did you wear contacts and/or glasses? glasses
7) Who were your best friends? Angel
8) How many tattoos did you have? none
9) How many piercings did you have? Just my ears.
10) What car did you drive? none
11) Had your heart broken? nope
12) Were you Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? Single.
13) Any Kids? Nope.

***5 YEARS AGO (2004)***
1) How old were you? 14
2) Who were you dating? I had just met Brandon
3) Where did you work? no where
4) Where did you live? Ohio
5) Where did you hang out? rollarcade
6) Did you have glasses/contacts? glasses
7) Who were your best friends? Clare
8) How many tattoos did you have? None.
9) How many piercings did you have? Ears,
10) What car did you drive? None.
11) Had your heart broken? Nope
12) Were you Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? single for awhile
13) Any Kids? None.

****TODAY (2009)****
1) Age? 18
2) Significant Other? Non existant
3) Where do you work? I do hair for now
4) Where do you live? Ohio
5) Who are your closest friends? Janet, Ashley, David, Tori, Gogo, Beth, Teisha, Casey, Kelsey, Megan, Emily, Angel
6) Do you talk to your old friends? yes
7) How many piercings do you have? ears
8) How many tattoos? on my ankle
9) What kind of car do you have? ford
10) Had your heart been broken? yeah.
11) How many kids? none
12) Are you Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? single

It's the final countdown...

2009-03-05T18:22:00.000-08:00

Destination Imagination Regional Competition is Saturday at Aurora High School. I'm so nervous. I want to go on to states and then hopefully end up at global finals this year. I want to walk at DI graduation. I want to be with my new jersey friends, I want to have toga parties in the dorms at 3AM while eating taco bell and drinking red bull smoothies.

We perform at 1:20pm in the choir room at AHS if you want to come see the really really really ridiculously good looking team perform ;]

There comes a point in everyone's life

2009-03-04T18:54:00.000-08:00

The only thing that hurts more than a broken heart is knowing if you could do it all again you would.
Sometimes the hardest thing you've ever done is also the best thing
I'm jealous of every girl who ever hugged you because for a moment she held my entire world
Somewhere between all of our talks, our stupid fights, our silly jokes and all of our laughs I fell in love

Its so much easier to say you don't love someone rather than explain the reasons why you do
One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart you cant speak
you taught me how to love, you taught me how to cry
the only thing you didn't teach me is how to say goodbye
Nothing is more painful than realizing he meant everything to you and you meant nothing to him
i wish that when we could just tell each other how we feel, I'm tired of pretending i got over you
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin todays happiness.

20 reasons to date a swimmer

2009-03-02T19:00:00.000-08:00

These never fail to make me giggle and even though I could only swim varsity one year thanks to the lousy coach...I still consider myself a swimmer

1) We're always wet and ready to go fast...
2) We're always nearly naked...
3) No matter how tired we get, we can always keep going...
4) Good on our stomach or on our back...
5) We prefer latex on our head...
6) We dive right in and get started...
7) We always put in a hard thrust at the very end...
8) We like the pull boy between our legs...
9) We can stroke it in 4 different ways...
10) Eye protection is sometimes necessary...
11) Butterfly...hump it hump it....
12) We've been trained well... lots of training to get this good...
13) We have excellent endurance and stamina...
14) Strong forearms for well, ya know ...
15) 6am-6pm we're ready anytime ...
16) We can perform well anywhere ...
17) We don't mind it when it gets a little rough...
18) We are ready to go on command...
19) Corkscrew's our favorite drill ...
20) We go back and forth, over and over, and love it!...

You're a classic, like a little black dress

2009-03-01T19:29:00.001-08:00

Every girl needs their little black dress.
I am on the search for mine.
I need it by April 15th so I can take it to Toronto with me

Sunday Mornings and Happy March 1st

2009-03-01T07:34:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here at 10:30 in the morning downloading custom content for my sims 2. lol my life. I have nothing to do until Janet calls me and tells me she's done with practice. I guess we're going out for coffee and shopping. Just what I need to do with my life right now. I feel like I'm watching everything unravel before my eyes. I've never been so scared for my family right now. Each day we don't get a phone call, I thank God that he's keeping him alive. I'm scared that I'm never going to get to see my cousins again. Things are getting scarier and scarier with each day.

I know you won't read this but its okay. I won't lie. I am jealous of her. She has what I wanted. I've moved on and I don't have feelings for you like that anymore. Sometimes I wonder what if and sometimes I feel like it happened for a reason. She seems like a really sweet girl and I'm happy you found someone you are happy with. I just can't help but to think that could've been me or What does she have that I don't? I don't know and I probably won't ever understand. I'm just glad that I can call you my friend. I'd rather have you as a friend than not have you in my life at all.

On the subjects of relationships, Livejournal asked me: What quality do you think is most important in a significant other? And honestly, I never really thought about it. As I get older, I just want someone with a good heart and good personality and a love for music (of course I had to sneak that one in there ahaha) I just want to be able to have someone to love me for who I am. I hate the spring time because thats when couples start to come out from their nests and you see them everywhere in public and I am constantly reminded "Oh hay ashley you're alone, sucks to be you." I know I should just be patient and a guy will come along eventually, but you can't help but wonder sometimes.

My sims stuff is done downloading. I will put some up pictures later.

2009-02-28T21:04:00.000-08:00

This was an amazing movie.

If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?

2009-02-25T15:09:00.000-08:00

I would definitely be a public relations agent in the music industry. I love music so much. Music is my life. Music defines me. I'm an okay-musician but its not anything to write home to mom and dad about. I want to be involved in the industry in some way or another. There is no choice about this. I'm attending college in the fall for a Communications major and a minor in mass media. I'm determined to make this my career. I know the industry isn't in the best shape right now due to the economic crisis we are in and the internet making downloading music a daily thing, but its the only place I can truly see myself. Yeah I'm in cosmetology now and yeah I love it, but I can't see myself doing hair for the rest of my life. I want to have a true and deep passion for my career. I don't want to be one of those could've-should've-would've people. I don't want to wake up at 5:30 in the morning and head off to a job I don't love and I don't have a passion for. Who knows, maybe eventually I'll even own my own record label. I have my mind set and nothing is going to stop me now.

Describe your morning routine

2009-02-24T20:12:00.001-08:00

I have a livejournal that I never use for anything except communities. However I love their writer's block feature. I'm going to try and write every day. Hopefully it gives you guys a chance to learn something new about me each day.

so today's prompt

Describe your morning routine:

I am not a morning person by any means. I hate waking up early, especially for school. I break alarm clocks very easily. I beat the hell out of the snooze button so I've grown accustomed to using my cell phone and leaving it lay across the room on my vanity. I have two alarms set on it. The first alarm goes off at 5:30 to at least make me semi-conscious and then another one at 6 saying hey get your lazy ass out of bed. I usually fumble my way into the kitchen to make breakfast and watch full house. Around 6:30 I head back into my room to get ready for school. Its usually FREEZING in my room so I tend to crawl back under the covers to get warm. However, this warming buisness tends to put me back to sleep and before I know it, its like 6:50 and I have 20 minutes before I leave for school. If i'm still tired when I wake up, I straighten my hair and throw on some neutral colored eyeshadow and call it a day, however if I'm wide awake, I'll do something more playful with my make-up and actually wear something other than jeans and a hoodie.

there..
now you know how my mornings go..

2009-02-24T18:38:00.000-08:00

This has been a part of my life for the last four years. Barberton has a someone okay athletic program but when it comes to basketball, Barberton High School means serious business. Last basketball game ( I mean last PEP BAND GAME) was tonight. Senior Night! It was sad to see some of the nicest and most talent guys play their last game. It was awesome to see Kevin finally play and score within what three minutes of playing...BHS is going to do amazing in the play offs. LOL and now you all know what a sports nerd I am...

I'm going down in May to state board to get my cosmetology license. I'm so nervous. I mean I can do everything on the exam and I've done really well on the practice ones. I'm hoping the state board testing date doesn't interfer with my plans to see FOB with my bff and my plans to hang out with Rissa. Speaking of concerts...TAI and this prov are playing accoustically at the Musica on 4/3/09. I'm so stoked.

well off to go finish my economics...

peace love and all that jazz

The Carpel Tunnel Of Love

2009-02-21T17:56:00.000-08:00

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Carry on wayward son

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Magnolia

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Everything I'm not

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Better than me

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
The boys of summer

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Breakaway

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Fearless

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Brighter than sunshine

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Any man of mine

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Dick in a box

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
True Friends

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Same blood

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Slow Motion

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
God is a DJ

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
The ballad of Big Papa and Diamond Girl

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Get Busy Living or Get busy dying

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Karma Police

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Blinded by the sun

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
When the day met night

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Secrets don't make friends

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
I'd do anything

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
The carpel tunnel of love

Today could not possibly get any worse....

2009-02-18T13:38:00.000-08:00

I'm so seriously fed up with people today. I really had hoped today was going to be a good day. I woke up in a good mood and I was so ready to go to school and get the day started. Yeah that lasted a whole half hour...

Thanks to my darling little sister. I got my keys taken away from me so I couldn't drive anywhere. I was planning on going to the gym with Janet and Anna after school to work out since my father likes to make remarks on my weight. (more on this later) But yeah so mom told me I wasn't allowed to drive to school and mind you this was at 7:30...class starts at 7:40. I called Dad and asked him if I could just drive to school since I was pretty much going to be late. To sum it all up lets just say, Megan is the little princess and I'm the scum of the earth. Whatever the princess wants, princess gets. Ashley wants something? Oh no she can get it herself. I get home and I get my Akron University admittance packet part two and I call mom to ask her to take a day off so I can get my mennegitis shot and my hepatitis B shot and she flips out saying that she can't deal with this and for me to figure it out on my own and then proceeds to tell me that I need to wait till she gets home to register for orintation.
I don't get this at all.....

Look, I know i'm not the best daughter ever but I try.
I try to get the best grades I can get. I try to get all the scholarships I can get. I always give my best and nothing less. I apply for job after job. I can't help people aren't wanting to higher students in high school and I most certainly can't help the economy (which is bad when McDonalds tells you they are having a hiring freeze...) I can only do my best and nothing less. If thats not good enough for you well then tell me and I'll go find somewhere else to live. I'm not going to stay with people who have lost complete faith in me.

2009-02-11T08:45:00.000-08:00

3rd day home in a row.

First off, If I recommended the Aleve 12 hour cold and flu medicine, I am so sorry.
First off I took it yesterday thinking it would knock this out, but no. It did NOTHING for me. Secondly, I never want to wake up at 2AM with my heart racing like it did. This reason 516841354651684654684654 I don't do drugs. I hate anxiety and that medicine only made it worse.

so anyways bottom line is.

I have strep throat but its not on my tonsils. its on the back upper part of my mouth and on the sides. I'm on amoxacillin for the next 10 days.

Good news I can go back to having a social life since I wont be contagious anymore and with this not eating for 3 days I lost 4 pounds. I miss shoving my face with food though DDDDD:

Going to pick up my prescription now...

PS.

we will miss you Tim. I can't imagine what your family is going through. Twice in five months. I hope you and Alex are in a better place now. Your family is in my prayers<3

2009-02-09T17:31:00.000-08:00

Why am I even bothering going to college? All its doing is causing problems in this family.

Mom is scared to fill out the FAFSA because she thinks its pointless and that we make too much money to get any financial aid. I find out that i'm probably going to be able to take one class a semester because we don't have the money to pay out of pocket and my parents don't believe in loans and I sure as hell don't have the money to put myself through school. Whats the point in taking one class a semester. This is total bullshit.

Right now, I don't even want to go to college anymore.

2009-02-08T19:03:00.000-08:00

Fever of 100 currently. My body hurts so bad. I'm going to bed.
No school for me tomorrow :[

just a few updates

2009-02-08T09:48:00.000-08:00

I have little to no voice and when I do speak I sound like a frog. Thanks Janet. I feel all cold and achy. I bet its the start of me getting sick. Ugh I was doing so well this school year with not getting sick. Figures it happens close to the end.
Just my luck.

2009-02-07T12:12:00.000-08:00

Story of my life

My life as of today

2009-02-06T13:35:00.000-08:00

My life is currently revolving around these few things:

1. FAFSA, Financial Aid, Scholarships
2. Senioritis
3. Ohio State Board of Cosmetology
4. Finding a job in this horrible no good economy
5. Destination Imagination
6. Graduation
7. Having no more snow days left and its only February. What are we going to do when March hits and we get that last two feet of snow?

Where is the time for me just to stop worrying and stressing so much and just be myself? I know growing up is a requirement in this thing we call life but shouldn't fun be a requirement too?

Anyways...

I'm just putting this out there in case you are reading this...
Keep on talking, no one is listening. In case you haven't noticed, no one really likes you three all that much. One of you has your head stuck so far up your rear that the only person you are capable of caring about is yourself and for the other two, you both act so trashy that none of us can really stand it anymore. Do us all a favor and quit trying to impress us. We are not amused.
I really try to be a good and nice person but heathus, a girl can only take so much before she gets really pissed off.

P.S.
Where in the world can you get these as a pet

so damn cute<3 I want one.

oh and speaking of animals.
I have an irrational fear of hippos and sharks because of these pictures.

2009-02-04T19:34:00.000-08:00

I will never understand trashy girls.
Never

2009-01-29T16:31:00.000-08:00

Listen to the sound of my head pounding
Wish that it was make-believe
Praying for the skies to open up and
Wash away your memory

I can walk around with a pretty face on
Even when I'm black and blue
What's the point in telling everybody
I'm not over you.

I'm so happy for you
I could cry
Yeah, I'm so elated
Cross my heart and hope to die
I don't think about you every night
Before I close my eyes
I'm so happy for you baby,
I could cry.

Cry about the love we used to have
Cry that I won't ever get you back

Good Luck with her.

2009-01-28T17:19:00.000-08:00

All I want is a boy to sing this song to me
and mean every word of it.
He doesn't have to be a good singer.
I just miss what it feels like to be loved.

Is that so much for a girl to ask for.

25 things meme

2009-01-27T21:04:00.001-08:00

1. I don't know how. I don't know why, but I have this fascination for make-up and I don't mean just for the basic everyday stuff. I'm talking about special effects and corrective make-up. I'm going to be working at children's hospital soon doing corrective make-up in the burn unit. Thank you cosmetology license.

2. Even though I'm going to have my cosmetology license i'm still going to school for mass communications/public relations and eventually I'm going to work my way into the music industry.

3. I am so sick of not having a job right now. Prom is coming up and I need some damn money.

4. I can not go a day without music. I have music on 24/7. While I sleep, while i'm getting ready, While i'm at school, when i'm driving, when i'm taking a shower. To top it off, Its not just one type of music either. I go from Panic at the disco to Kanye West to Journey to Taylor Swift to The Beatles to DJ Sammy....don't even get me started when the radio is on. I flip through channels like no one's business. Dad gets so annoyed to the point I can't have the radio on in the car anymore.

5. I stumble over my words because I have not mastered the teenage art of talking at 200 miles per hour. I do this often. One of my usual clients in cos thinks its adorable. I hate it.

6. I'm 18 but I have the height of a 10 year old. I stopped growing about the 5th grade (height wise)

7. I'm still trying to learn how to play guitar. Not going to smooth.

8. I complain the whole time at cedar point about how I wish rollar coasters scared me. I can get on and off the top thrill dragster and feel no emotions. I miss the fear of going fast and flying out of my seat. ( I bet people are going to be amazed I even meet the height requirements here)

9. I'm deathly allergic to strawberries. I found this out about 4 years ago. The guy I was "dating" at the time asked me to take a picture next time my tongue swelled up. How romantic of him right?

10. I'm terrified of needles. However, I managed to get a tattoo and it wasn't bad. It actually started an addiction.

11. My tattoo is around my left ankle. Yes, it is the Lucky Charms Marshmallows and yes there is a meaning to it. Lucky Charms was a huge part of my childhood. My favorite cereal hands down. I'm also irish so I took a liking to it. For my 18th birthday I wanted a part of my childhood to stay with me forever.

ta-da. 8 little shapes are around my little ankle...

12. I am going to work in a hospital, yet i'm terrified of them.

13. I hate the word suicide. I hate when people use the phrases "omg I would've killed myself" or "that makes me want to die." I have had 3 people really close to me commit suicide in the past 3 years. One being a boyfriend. Don't ever joke around about it to me. I will totally lose all respect for you. I don't care who you are.

14. I'm a writer. Poetry, short stories, etc. I love it.

15. My hair changes about once a week. However, It will always stay some shade of red. I tried being blonde and it didn't work out for me. I'm naturally sassy.

16. I'm not so sure I believe in love anymore. I'm not so sure I believe in the idea of marriage either. I want a guy to prove me wrong. I'll keep on dreaming though.

17. Speaking of guys, I have a bad bad bad bad bad habit for dating musicians. They are the worst to get over.

18. In September of 2008, I was on crutches for 3 weeks and in a walking boot for 2 weeks because they thought I had a Lis-franc fracture in my foot. Turns out I pinched some nerves, pulled and sprained some muscles and cracked one of my metatarsals.
all from falling UP the stairs.
only me

19. Janet Zellia is my best friend forever. She walked into my life when everyone who I thought was important walked out. I will never be able to thank her enough for saving my life. I shudder when I think of where I would be right now if she hadn't done what she did.

20. I am a closet gamer. I play every game system there is out there. N64 is still my favorite.

21. I have this fear of losing people. I hate being alone. I have to be talking to someone pretty much all the time. I also hate when people get mad at me or are disappointed. I do everything I can to fix it and it usually makes things worse.

22. I wish I was closer with the rest of my family. Like things used to be. I hate growing up :[

23. My foot is numb right now.

24. I want to get out of Barberton and move on my own but i'm terribly afraid the moment I do, something really bad is going to happen. I'm afraid to move to like NYC or Chicago because of Coyote Ugly, and the fact I won't know anyone. I'm afraid I'll be trapped here forever.

25. I have a huge texting problem. I text waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much. If you're reading this and you want my number, comment me and ask for it. I'll send it your way. I don't EVER send forwards. it's all pure conversation. :]

2009-01-25T14:47:00.000-08:00

I love that boy.
I love that movie.

/end nerd.

permanent jet lag

2009-01-23T19:50:00.000-08:00

She's sitting in a bathroom stall
with a marker in her hand
scribbling down the words
to her favorite song by her favorite band
and she hopes someone will read them
and maybe they'll understand how it feels to care so much it hurts,
to fight so hard you shake,
to love so intensely that it scares you,
to build so much that something breaks.
she knows that she's not the only one
but sometimes it sure feels that way...